Leaping Over Walls

 "For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. "  Psalm 18:29

I have been thinking a lot recently about something I read last summer about anxiety:

Anxiety is a part of our lives, but we don't have to let it keep us living in a prison of fear or retreating in shame.  We have the opportunity to look it square in the face and allow God to use it to transform our lives.
Rhett Smith, the Anxious Christian, p. 33

I imagine anxiety like a wall.  I find myself bumping up against that wall more often than I care to admit.  I also imagine that the wall/ anxiety is an opportunity.  I am learning to check in with myself and identify what that wall is representing in my life, or what it is bringing up/ out in me.  Once identified I can speak truth into the situation.  As silly as it may sound, I literally say to myself, "Ok, this is what is going on and here is what God says about me, my situation, and who HE is in this."

I see that God is with me facing that wall, waiting for me on the other side of that wall, and walking THROUGH that wall with me.  God indeed lightens my darkness.  He is walking through (or leaping over) walls with me!  
(And giving me second chances when I don't make it the first time...or second...)

He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today.
He walks with me, He talks with me along life's narrow way.
He lives, He lives, salvation to impart.
You ask me how I know He lives, He lives within my heart.

The words to this hymn were in my head the whole week before Easter.
This section of lyrics says it all. Salvation and the presence of God in my life-makes me want to sing right now!

offering

“Sometimes a task we have begun takes on seemingly crushing size, and we wonder what ever gave us the notion that we could accomplish it. There is no way out, no way around it, and yet we cannot contemplate actually carrying it through. The rearing of children or the writing of a book (and I would add, learning the Albanian language) are illustrations that come to mind. Let us recall that the task is a divinely appointed one, and divine aid is therefore to be expected. Expect it! Ask for it, wait for it, believe that God gives it. Offer to Him the job itself, along with your fears and misgivings about it. He will not fail or be discouraged. Let His courage encourage you. The day will come when the task will be finished. Trust Him for it. ~from Elisabeth Elliot's A Lamp Unto My Feet

‘For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded:

therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know that I shall not be

ashamed. (Is. 50:7 KJV)’”

My sweet sister in Christ (and by marriage), Chelle Stire, had this on her blog. What timing. We feel so overwhelmed right now with school, work, family, responsibilities, etc. Today I was thinking to myself, "HOW IN THE WORLD am I suppose to cook healthy meals, home school our children, be a frugal shopper, give my Lord my priority & best time, exercise to keep my body healthy, keep the house reasonably clean & managed, help my husband, be good mother, daughter, sister, and friend, etc. " I do have a point- I am not complaining, I genuinely wanted to know! This is about the time I read Chelle's blog. Who says we don't have a sovereign God? I know that my Redeemer lives and that He cares about me. He has made me wife to Chris, mother to five very precious people, and all of the other things I mentioned. Do I think He really gives these big jobs with no desire or ability to see them through? Raising children, for example, is a God-sized task!

As you can see, this is part of God's grace in showing me that I can't do all of this on my own (see previous post: Broken...). I need Him and He IS there! Chelle encouraged me in an email to not miss this time thinking about and preparing for the future. God is working here and now. I have said before that I believe that God is more interested in my relationship with Him than what I think I can do for Him. Sounds like He is giving me the opportunity to put this into practice.

May my life song sing to Him!

REST

The Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath.

Luke 2:27

We need rest, God cares for us and so tells us (commands us, see 10 Commandments) to rest.  Thanks, God!

Snow Angels...

Zephan's first EVER experience of snow!

Avery's gonna get me!

Emma tasting the snow

The kiddos were so excited about the snow. We had a little teaser snow on Monday night but nothing stuck and the temp was pretty warm Tuesday and Wednesday. Today, the flakes that fell were HUGE and gorgeous. We all felt so blessed. The kids had prayed for snow and so they felt especially excited to see the glorious flakes.

my grandfather

Frederick Eithel Baker, Jr.
July 21, 1921-January 26, 2008

I am so thankful for the time with my grandfather. I am also thankful for the time with my family as we gathered to celebrate his life. My grandfather knew Jesus as his Savior and so is now in heaven experiencing joy we can't comprehend. He had been in so much pain and now he is free from that! He is worshiping and fellowshipping with God!! Wow.
My grandparents were married for 64 years and I am so very thankful for their legacy. Grandpa called my grandmother "my girl" up until the time of his death. He deeply loved her and we knew it. They were each other's~gifts from the heavenly Father. They weathered the storms of life and celebrated the good times together. They built a family together. They served the Lord and His church together. They traveled together. They even worked together.
There are so many precious memories of times with them in my mind. We had a lot of good times. Family meant a lot to Grandpa. A good name meant a lot to him. In his obituary we read that he was proud that a handshake was what he worked with. He meant what he said. At his funeral we learned that the Ark and other portions of the Bible dealing with building were especially meaningful to him. He was a builder. God's word is living and active and spoke to my grandfather's heart. He appreciated that Jesus is the foundation upon which we must build. He is the cornerstone.
My grandfather was ready for death. He knew whom He had believed-Jesus, Savior of all who receive Him; the Way, the Truth, the Life. He believed that no one comes to the Father except through Jesus. I believe this with my whole heart too. This is where my hope, my purpose, and my joy come from.
My grandparents took me to church, Sunday school, & Vacation Bible School when we stayed with them because they knew that our spiritual foundation must be laid in the truth of God's word. I am so thankful.
They took us to the beach, fishing, swimming, camping, to Disney World, and many other places. They made time for us and for our family to get together.

Grandpa had a poem in his Bible titled "I'm Free". Here is an excerpt:
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me
I took his hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all...
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all to brief;
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now, He set me free.


After Grandpa's funeral, we were driving around when the following song came on the radio. God is so good!

In Christ alone, my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Saying Goodbye

God (and Mom) gave me a special gift. I was able to fly to Florida in January with my mom and Zephan to visit my grandparents and family.
I can't express what this trip meant to me. My spirit was refreshed with hours of time alone with my heavenly Father, Mom and I sweetly walked down memory lane many times, I had wonderful visits with my extended family, Zephan slept like a rock-I think it was all of the individual attention, and I was able to say "good bye" to my grandfather. I was able to tell him "thank you" for teaching me and taking me to swim and fish. I was able to look into his eyes and tell him I love him.
What a gift!

Zephan was playing a tickle game with Grandma Baker. They were so funny. He thought he was getting her good...maybe he was.

Zephan really wasn't sure about the sandy beach but he sure wanted to get those birds! By the way...the water was COLD!

Every Baker/Lovell/Suel has to have their picture taken on the Humiston Dolphin. IT IS TRADITION!

passionate ramblings

I want to be passionate-about Jesus, about my family, about life. It is so easy to just stay in the mundane. We have just finished a sermon series at our church called "Living Life on the Mount, Less in the Valley". I think this is a desire for everyone. When I think of living life like this I picture standing on top of a lush green mountain, a large blue sky, my arms wide open, head tilted back, and the sense of the fullness of the presence of God. Of course, I have few moments totally alone or on anything higher than an overpass. But, I do have times where my in my heart I am praising God on that scenic mount.
I am waiting on God right now. As I have been waiting I have sensed Him reminding me that it is not necessarily the end destination He is concerned with but my heart as I travel. I sense Him telling me to seek the Blesser rather than the blessing (quote from a sermon I heard this year). Oh, I want that! I want to want God more than I want from Him (sounds confusing). He wants me! He wants my heart, my trust, my love. He is so worthy of it.
One of my greatest desires is that my children see me loving Jesus and want a relationship with Him too. I pray that my own sin and failures will not be a stumbling block but that as God molds me and His strength is made perfect in my weakness they will see HIS power at work in me.
I have been reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God. I have read a lot of books on family/ being a wife and mother and this one is the one God is using to speak to the depths of my heart. It is my humble opinion that because we are all different what turns one woman's world upside down might not be the kicker for another woman. Not that I haven't learned from, been greatly challenged by, and been encouraged by so many great books but this one is grabbing me! As I read I truly am drawn to being desperate for God. I sense such great freedom even as I am realizing that I can never do this job. I am simply not good enough to do the job that needs to be done. BUT He is. He is my Resting Place, my Refresher, my Strong Supporter, my Redeemer-Praise God!!! Now to walk in this grace. Such a worldly paradox- I gain my freedom by obeying. Not just obeying anyone- obeying the One who loves me perfectly, who securely sets my feet upon the rock, protects me, knows all, the Creator and Sustainer of all.
Thanks for letting me ramble.

the parable of the lost wallet

If a girl, okay, a woman looses her wallet in the HUGE parking lot of a theme park will she not search for it (once she arrives home 30 minutes away and realizes it is missing)? Once their was such a woman. The woman searched and searched, her husband searched and searched, her family searched and searched to no avail. There were calls to the lost and found and speculations to what had happened. "It is lost. Cancel your cards." "Call for new social security cards, insurance cards, library cards, driver's liscence, etc". Then the woman cried out to God and asked her friends to cry out to God on her behalf. "Father, You are so big. You know exactly where my wallet is," she cried, "I would like to have my wallet back. Would You put it in the hands of an honest person?" Will the Lord not hear her prayer? HE DID. He caused her wallet to be found by a man who searched for her, called her, and returned the wallet with not a single leftover receipt missing! And there was (and is) much rejoicing by the woman, her family, and her faithful praying friends; for her wallet was lost but is found.
Now, if they can rejoice over a silly piece of material with a zipper and plastic and paper things that won't last forever think of how much more God rejoices when a precious person is found. When even one person comes to Him, realizing their lostness without Him, He rejoices. He loves us. He created us, sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for us so that we could be found. How great is the Father's love for us! Thank You, Father, for finding my wallet and even more so, for finding me.