Leaping Over Walls

 "For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. "  Psalm 18:29

I have been thinking a lot recently about something I read last summer about anxiety:

Anxiety is a part of our lives, but we don't have to let it keep us living in a prison of fear or retreating in shame.  We have the opportunity to look it square in the face and allow God to use it to transform our lives.
Rhett Smith, the Anxious Christian, p. 33

I imagine anxiety like a wall.  I find myself bumping up against that wall more often than I care to admit.  I also imagine that the wall/ anxiety is an opportunity.  I am learning to check in with myself and identify what that wall is representing in my life, or what it is bringing up/ out in me.  Once identified I can speak truth into the situation.  As silly as it may sound, I literally say to myself, "Ok, this is what is going on and here is what God says about me, my situation, and who HE is in this."

I see that God is with me facing that wall, waiting for me on the other side of that wall, and walking THROUGH that wall with me.  God indeed lightens my darkness.  He is walking through (or leaping over) walls with me!  
(And giving me second chances when I don't make it the first time...or second...)

Back to blogspot

Currently, we are in a city with good internet and no access to our other blog. So here we are again!

For those who do not know, we have been in Nairobi for the past...5 weeks...wow. It has been an interesting journey. Chris had to be hospitalized with his pancreatitis again. Since we thought we had solved this by having his gall bladder removed we are on the hunt again. His doctor is looking for the cause and trying to determine if this is still acute recurrent or chronic pancreatitis. Since he doesn't drink alcohol and doesn't have a gall bladder anymore we can rule those two out. He has been tested for just about everything else too. We are waiting to get his triglycerides into a normal range and see what happens. I really don't know how much to share. We are in the thick of it and all of the medical terms swim in my head, but do you really need to hear anything but that we are waiting on some tests?

The kiddos are enjoying seeing friends and the cooler weather. We have resumed schooling which helps with the "limbo-ness" of our situation. Right now we are building a replica of a Roman villa. Jaden is LOVING walking around taking pictures and exploring her artistic side. Flowers/ nature are her favorite subjects


This is only ONE of hundreds she has taken. I just love the exploration of perspective!

I keep telling people that God is giving us a chance to practice "waiting". Over and over in His word we read that we should wait on Him. I am not very good at this. I really feel so much more in control, I mean better, if I can at least make up a schedule of what I think should be going on in our lives. I am good at making lists, schedules, plans, etc. I didn't say I am good at the follow through, just excellent at the planning. But God is telling me to give Him tomorrow, live here, today with Him. Do you know how thankful I am? It is really hard and sometimes painful, but I am so glad that He is giving me the opportunity to practice this very important part of my relationship with Him...waiting, trusting. I have been praying for years that I would learn to BE WHERE I AM, not mulling over the past, not planning, fretting, or trying to figure out the future, just where I am, in that moment. He is so good.