Sunday, December 16, 2007

passionate ramblings

I want to be passionate-about Jesus, about my family, about life. It is so easy to just stay in the mundane. We have just finished a sermon series at our church called "Living Life on the Mount, Less in the Valley". I think this is a desire for everyone. When I think of living life like this I picture standing on top of a lush green mountain, a large blue sky, my arms wide open, head tilted back, and the sense of the fullness of the presence of God. Of course, I have few moments totally alone or on anything higher than an overpass. But, I do have times where my in my heart I am praising God on that scenic mount.
I am waiting on God right now. As I have been waiting I have sensed Him reminding me that it is not necessarily the end destination He is concerned with but my heart as I travel. I sense Him telling me to seek the Blesser rather than the blessing (quote from a sermon I heard this year). Oh, I want that! I want to want God more than I want from Him (sounds confusing). He wants me! He wants my heart, my trust, my love. He is so worthy of it.
One of my greatest desires is that my children see me loving Jesus and want a relationship with Him too. I pray that my own sin and failures will not be a stumbling block but that as God molds me and His strength is made perfect in my weakness they will see HIS power at work in me.
I have been reading Passionate Housewives Desperate for God. I have read a lot of books on family/ being a wife and mother and this one is the one God is using to speak to the depths of my heart. It is my humble opinion that because we are all different what turns one woman's world upside down might not be the kicker for another woman. Not that I haven't learned from, been greatly challenged by, and been encouraged by so many great books but this one is grabbing me! As I read I truly am drawn to being desperate for God. I sense such great freedom even as I am realizing that I can never do this job. I am simply not good enough to do the job that needs to be done. BUT He is. He is my Resting Place, my Refresher, my Strong Supporter, my Redeemer-Praise God!!! Now to walk in this grace. Such a worldly paradox- I gain my freedom by obeying. Not just obeying anyone- obeying the One who loves me perfectly, who securely sets my feet upon the rock, protects me, knows all, the Creator and Sustainer of all.
Thanks for letting me ramble.

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